Monday, March 13, 2017

Dating in your 40s


Okay, I don't talk about my dating life much on here, but thought that I would today.  Dating is so different now that I am 40 and living a Christian life.  In the past, I would date around.  I was looking for fun and now.  I wanted someone that was out for a good time like I was.

Now that I am older, I am looking to settle down.  I want to meet that person that will be there till the end of times with me.  My person that gets me in the good times and bad times.  I want a friend first, then my lover.  It is harder though to meet people when you are 40.

Most are married, in committed relationships, or there is a reason they are not.  For instance one person I went out with was still growing up and coming to terms with being gay.  One gal, went great with, but she moved to another state and we are still good friends.  Another I went out with turned out to just be getting out of a relationship and not over it yet.  And another person I went out with, well it was like dating her whole family right away.  And finally another only wanted to have sex and was not happy when I let it be known that I will not be having sex till I say "I do" again.

So, this makes me think what are my flaws that push people away?  Do I talk about ex's too much?  No, not any more, I worked through that now.  Is it cause I live at home with my folks? If so, that is lame excuse.  Is it I am too out going? I think not as these days I am more shy then outgoing.  Am I too big?  Well maybe, but working on that.  Do I work too much?  Well of course, how else am I to pay the bills?  Am I too butch?  I think at times yes and others no.

Yet, I can't pick myself apart!  And the person for me won't either.  They will help me build to a better future.  One with God in it!  In fact where He is first in our lives.  They are my equal and walking at times in front to lead when I can't, at times behind to give me a push when it calls for it, and others beside me when it calls for that.  They listen to me even when I can't say anything.  And finally they love unconditionally as I will give it to them.

So as I date in my 40s, I look for my forever person and keep in mind that she is out there getting ready for me as I have also been getting ready for her.  May God send us in each other's path soon and let us start to build our friendship!  It is in God's hands, all I can do is put myself out there to meet them!

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Story Time: It was her smile


Laura leaned up against the corner of the old brick building.  Looking across the parking lot, she didn't know who to be looking for.  She just knew her name was Jeannette and that she had curly black hair.  Sure she had seen a picture of her, but that didn't mean she knew for sure what she looked like.  Laura sucked down one last smoke and nervously looked around.

This was a date set up by Laura's best friend Tish and Laura was not told much, just that Tish said Jeannette was really nice and will meet her at 5 pm at the Olympian Grill on the Harbor side of the island.  Laura had not been on a date in some time and was not sure what to do.  She just knew though that Tish would never let her hear the end of it if she did not at least make an attempt to meet Jeannette.

Finally, a woman that matched the description and picture started walking up towards Laura.  Laura snuffed out the smoke, nervously fixed her hair, and yet could not get her eyes off this goddess that walked her way.  Laura scoped her out from head to toes.  Jeannette's hair was wild in the wind, her eyes inviting, her smile enticing.  She wore a stripped scarf, deep red sweater, jeans that showed off her curves, rainbow socks, and brown loafers.  Laura knew at that moment, there was going to be more to this date then she had expected.  For it was Jeannette's smile that drew her in and held her wanting more.

"You must be Laura?"

"And you must be Jeannette!"

"Waiting long?"

"Nah, I only been here a few minutes."

"Well shall we go in?"

From there the two of them went into the restaurant.  They ordered a tilapia dish to share.  As they waited on the meal, they talked about how they each knew Tish, about looking for a relationship and difficulties in it, and so much more.  Laura felt her defenses go down as she interacted with Jeannette.  It was still that smile that drew her in, made her feel at ease, and make her want more.

"Shall we continue this at the beach?" Jeannette asked Laura.

"Sure, but I must warn you, I may try to kiss you."

"And I may let you."

With that Laura leaned in and kissed the soft tender lips of Jeannette.  Then she learned it was not just her smile but her kiss as well.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Only God heals the brokenhearted!


 

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 147:3

If you have ever been in a relationship, then you have had a broken heart.  I thought I would never heal from mine.  To this day, I still have dreams of her and what we once had.  I can't help but think of her when I go to certain places that we once frequented.  Honestly I love her as much if not more then the day she left.  I hurt because I no longer had her in my life.  I mourned for years over her.  But it wasn't till I got into Christ's church that I began to heal.

I don't know why or how it happened, but I began to be able to think of her and not cry.  I began to not dream as much of her.  I began to go places that I shared with her and not get depressed.  I began to heal.  And when I had given up on love, Christ's love brought me back.

I know it is hard to come back from a broken heart.  I know it is not easy to see the light when darkness is all around you.  I know it is not easy to believe that you will find love again.  I know because that is how I was.

I can tell you though, there is love to be found.  No I am not in a relationship yet, but I had to heal or begin to heal before I could even think of being in one.  Now I know there is someone out there getting ready to meet me and I her.  Who knows, maybe one of us has a lesson to learn first or a difficult thing to get over first.

All I know though, is that God loves me.  He hears me.  He heals me.  God is good and knows what will happen and when I meet my person.  The rest were just training for the real deal!  I just have to have hope and faith.  So if you are out there, don't give up!  Your person is just getting ready for you and you for them!  In God's time you will meet them!

Love one another



A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.
John 13:34-35

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:16

With all that is going on in the world, I can't help but think if Christianity is truly followed by all that say that they do, then why is there not more love in the world?  I get not accepting all, but we are commanded to love one another!  I don't accept the actions of say a rapist, but I can love them.

How you may ask can we do that?  Christ didn't say like everyone, but he did say love one another.  So, sometimes that is by just being kind to them, giving food, time, or money to help those in need, or it could be simply praying for them.

Me not loving everyone is like saying God doesn't, but yet He does.  He loved us so much that He gave Christ to die for us and Christ loved us so much that he willingly went to the cross for us.  I can't help but think if I don't love others, what will God think of me?

Love is easy when you realize that it don't mean you have to like everyone.  It is like this, I love my brother, but there are times I can't stand him.  I didn't just stop loving him, I just didn't like him or approve of his actions.

God doesn't see black, white, brown, orange, gay, bisexual, lesbian, poor, rich, etc like we do, those are labels that we put on people.  God just sees a child of His that He loves!

So why do we think because someone is different that we don't have to love them?  Again we are commanded to!  I am to love the person that raped me, the ones that stole all my things at one time, the guy who put a gun to my head, the ones that hurt me, I am to love everyone.  I just don't have to like them or accept their actions.

So if I can love those people, why can't you love those in your own life.  Just pray for them and wish for good in their life.  Don't mean they have to be in your life, liked by you, or their actions accepted.  Just love them.

If God loves the world, even those that do harm, whom am I to not follow the same?

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Workout the mind!


No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:11

I started doing a boot camp this week to train the body, but there is something much more that needs training and that is the mind!  I truly believe that what you put in is what you put out.  So if you are feeding your brain with positive thoughts, then you will begin to be positive.  It is something that doesn't happen over night though.  We have to train to become that way.

You may be asking what I mean by this.  Well, just because I read the Bible regularly does not mean I will automatically know scripture.  In fact I use www.biblegateway.com to come up with the scriptures for this.  I know though in time I will be able to know more about the Bible the more I train myself in it.

It's a slow process though, but like exercise, I don't start out running a marathon, I have to build up to it.  I don't start out knowing the Bible, I have to start out slow learning it.  And if I can't recall it, it is because I am not feeding my brain with it.

I used to think it was not important to know scripture and then I realized, how can I know God better if I am not reading His word?  We are lucky that we are blessed with a book that we can get into and know God through, there are religions that don't have the same blessing.

In also training my mind, I have to look out for who I have around me.  If I have naysayers around me, then I will become one.  Though if I hang out with positive people, I will be more positive.  

We also need a support group that we can be accountable to.  We were not meant to live alone, so avoiding people is not the answer.  I look at it like this, I go to the gym and work out, I am likely not to keep it up.  But going to this boot camp, where I am with a group with the same goals, I stick with it, even if it is just to see some of them.

So what is the mind support group?  Church of course.  What better way to be around God's people and also in the word?  You get a full workout of the mind!  Is it tiresome at times? Yes!  Does it hurt at times? Yes.  But like working out, you just have to stick to it.

So what are you doing to exercise your mind?